Merry Little Christmas Redux
by fluffy2001
Summary: Did you think the Merry Little Christmas episode sucked? I did, so here is my version of what should have been in it. Now with 25 percent more Chase! It is my Christmas gift to you.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: First off, a big thanks to Merlin71 and JennifferButterfly for hearing my idea and encouraging me to do this based on rough notes and ideas. **

**I'm a dissenter. There was enough lazy writing and glaring problems with Merry Little Christmas (as with many episodes this year) that I'm going to be a vilgante fanfic writer and try to redo the episode myself to my liking. Is the idea crazy? Sure, but I was up for a challenge. Here are the nitpicks I aim to address.**

**Everyone was so out of character. Except Chase. He had no character. He had no lines. That's getting fixed. **

**Cameron is being written as too much of an uneven bitch. She was way too righteous in this episode. I'm toning it down a notch.**

**Can Cuddy actually run a hospital? Why was everyone so hard on Wilson? I plan on fixing those glaring character flaws. **

**The diagnosis process. I looked up Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis on Medline. It was so freaking obvious upon reading those symptoms that it was the diagnosis that I'm having trouble believing that five highly skilled doctors missed that. Especially when Chase actually suggested it and they quickly brushed it off. That was wrong on so many levels. Despite his brilliance, House is not the only freaking doctor in this hospital. His team when working together can function when he is not around by now. They aren't as brilliant, but they shouldn't be missing the obvious either. **

**Tritter. I'm creating an ending where he goes away.**

**There is no way responsible doctors and friends would let House detox like that. There are simpler and safer options. They should have known that he would harm himself or score more drugs on his own. I have come up with another way that is completely plausible.**

**This fic is a huge experiment. There were roughly 34 scenes in the episode that aired. I think only about 9 of them were fine as they were. The rest are replaced with new scenes or changed. For the scenes from the episode that I liked, I showed a few lines from that scene and some internal dialogue. For the scenes I edited and replaced, I wrote in story format. It may seem a little jagged because there are a multiple number of scenes, so consider it cross between an episode and a story. Hopefully it works!**

Detective Tritter knew that House was too stubborn to see reason. He was doing his part to play good cop, but he was secretly relishing the fact that he now had Wilson's testimony and House was going to jail. The case was now solid. He also enjoyed watching this stubborn man go down defiantly. He was sure House thought it was bravery, but he knew this was an act of plain cowardice.

"Knock it off. Look, I don't care why Dr. Wilson is doing this. Right now, it makes no difference to me but you need to deal with the reality of your current situation. Want to stand on principle, you end up in a cell. And you end up never practicing medicine again. So you've got two choices, your principle or your life."

"Get out of my office." House ordered after glancing at the two men.

Tritter grabbed his coat, trying hard not to let his satisfied smile show. "The DA put a clock on the deal. You've got 3 days to decide."

----------------------------------------------------------

"You did what!?" Cuddy exclaimed at Wilson's admission. "Shouldn't you see the head of the hospital before cutting such a deal?"

"I had no choice. He's out of control and is willing to sacrifice himself for nothing. I don't understand why you haven't suspended him. He almost ruined a little girl's life and punched out an employee in the lobby. How is he getting away with that?"

"I spoke with Dr. Chase the day after it happened. He didn't want to make a big deal over it and refused to file a complaint. I wish he had so I had a valid reason to suspend House." Cuddy was really using that as an excuse. She almost suspended him anyway, but knew he would be hanging around all the time asking for pills.

"We need to do something."

"He's our best doctor. We need him and he can still practice medicine with proper meds." She needed him right now to take the case of her dwarf patient. He saw something she didn't.

"If we don't deal, your best doctor is going to jail and will never practice medicine again. How is that going to help the hospital? I got us a win-win here."

"It involves taking control of his life away from House. That is losing scenario. He will never forgive us or allow it to happen. Have you ever thought that people will just see it as you trying to save yourself? That is the way House is going to see it."

"We have been wrong this entire time. We have been leaving proper pain management in the hands of a junkie. That is no different than letting the nuts run the asylum. He's brilliant with other people, but he is still destroying himself."

"So you think cutting a deal with the cop is the answer. You think two months of forced rehab is actually going to help him?"

Wilson sighed in frustration. He didn't have all the answers, but he wasn't sure what else to do. "It was the best way to get Tritter to go away. He can't keep on going like this. Rehab is better than nothing."

"He'll never do it. He will go to rehab and detox painfully. They will watch him for two months, and then when he is back and in pain again he'll likely go back to his old ways. He can't change."

"None of us have a choice anymore, including House. If we don't force the issue, House isn't the only one going down. Tritter could take all of us with him."

Cuddy grabbed her forehead and shook her head in frustration. She had no answers for this mess. She was allowing this situation to spiral out of control and it was threatening the reputation of the hospital. She was having a hard time separating what was best for the man verses what was best for everyone else.

Wilson continued. "When dealing with a child you take away what he loves the most. We have to force him to take the deal by cutting off from his meds. Once he is in pain, he'll see reason."

Cuddy knew how risky an option that was. "We know what will happen if we just cut him off. He'll detox again and be in insufferable pain. When he's like that, his actions cannot be controlled. He could end up hurting himself and possibly someone else. He's very smart. He will get his hands on drugs somehow."

"Is there another answer?" Wilson didn't have any more ideas.

"Cold turkey is dangerous. We should offer to help detox him ourselves first, then he goes to rehab without having to go through that."

"He only has three days to respond."

"Rapid detox takes one to two. His team is experienced with the process."

"You want to get his team involved?"

"Do we have a choice? They have the right to be part of this. They are suffering from all this too."

Wilson hadn't considered this option and needed time to consider it. "How will we get him to agree to this? We can only help him detox if he agrees to go to rehab."

"Don't worry. The pain and withdrawal will convince him that this is the most reasonable option. In the meantime, I'll force the issue."

--------------------------------

"Did you get that looked at?"

"I'm fine." Chase was surprised House even acknowledged his handy work. He knew that his question was the closest thing he was ever going to get to an apology.

House only wanted to focus on the case. Chase was fine with that, but Cameron and Foreman had their own ideas. "Take the deal," they told him. Did they really think that he was going to give in? House had too much pride. Chase didn't want to think about it too much though because he didn't really care anymore. Nothing was going to change and in the end they would all be out of jobs and the medical career of their boss ruined. He only now wanted to figure out why a dwarf's lung collapsed.

"Gold star for Cameron." _Give me a break_, Chase thought. He could never understand why he was always getting crap for sucking up yet Cameron was worse at approval seeking than he was. Let Cameron go do her Gallion scan under the blessing of the great Dr. House. He had better things to do and he certainly didn't need House's approval to do it.

------------------------------

"Care to go for a spin?" Cameron heard House say some pretty outrageous things, but that crossed a line. She wasn't sure if it was his recent erratic behavior or if he was just being himself. Either way, he was being disruptive and slowing down her process.

"House, get out. I have work to do here."

"Ooh, I'm interrupting Saint Cameron right now. She has real work to do. I'll be in my office."

The mother had a hard time figuring out why House still had a job. "I get that he is good, but how does he get away with that? Aren't there rules about behavior for doctors? Isn't there some type of sensitivity training in your line of work?"

"Dr. House has always been the exception to the rule." Cameron replied.

Exception to the rule he always was. Cameron always recognized his brilliance and trusted his judgment. She knew that Cuddy and Wilson gave him the pills so he could keep being brilliant and save lives. Wasn't the last case proof enough that he cannot function without his vicodin? Part of her knew though that he was taking too many and his pain issues were getting out of control. She didn't have the answers, but forcing House to deal with it was wrong. He needed to be helped on his terms, not hurt. She was probably just as bad an enabler and Wilson and Cuddy, but she didn't care. The pills do more good than harm in this case. The exception to the rule.

-------------------------------

House was in the zone. His mind was clearly focused on only one thing. Why didn't the liver show up on the Gallion scan as bright as the other organs?

"House, we need to talk," Cuddy told him as she entered the office.

"I'm not taking the deal, glad we talked. Ultrasound her liver."

"Sit down."

"Stand up. Your turn."

"House, you're off the case. Your treatment privileges are suspended until you accept Tritter's deal."

"Your not going to take the deal just so I can have fun of treating a dwarf, so I assume there's more to this threat."

"I'm also cutting off your vicodin." Cuddy didn't want to do this in front of his staff, but he left her no choice.

"That could work."

"I'm taking over as attending. Get an MRI of the lungs."

"This is not lung cancer."

"We'll find out as soon as we MRI her lungs." She waved the three underlings along. They all got up and went right to it. They certainly weren't going to defy an order from the Dean of Medicine.

"You're going to come begging to me to save this girl long before I come begging for pills." House said in a condescending tone.

"House, what choice have you left me with? You think I can just do nothing and let this continue? This isn't about you anymore. The entire hospital is being affected by this. This will not go away on its own. We are foolish to think that anymore."

"This place would run just fine if I was allowed to do my job without pain."

"You almost ruined a little girl's life and punched Chase who at the time was only trying to get you to see your mistake. How can I allow that behavior to continue?"

"I was in pain. None of that would have happened if you had given me what I needed."

"Don't you mean what you want? What you need is no longer reasonable, and we are being forced now to deal with it. Don't you realize that not only will you go to jail, but you will never be able to practice medicine again? You are willing ruin your life and countless others patients that you can save over stupid pride? I don't like it anymore than you do, but we have to do something now."

House turned his back and waved her off, ignoring anything she had to say.

Cuddy sighed. She wasn't getting anywhere. "Are you ready to hear another option?"

"I don't like options unless it involved my pills."

"You are an addict. We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

"Vicodin is the easy way. Tritter can go to hell. You need to sick a good hospital lawyer on him. I'm sure he has crossed too many legal boundaries of his own. I don't know why you are tolerating this."

"This option will help you." Cuddy replied ignoring his rant.

"I don't want to be helped! I want to go back to what worked."

"Rapid detox. I don't want to see you suffer. I'll let you go through that if you agree to go to rehab afterward. That way you can go off the vicodin without suffering from painful withdrawal. After it is out of your system, they'll help you find better ways to manage your pain in rehab."

"That's your option? Oh why didn't I think of that before? Oh yeah, because it won't work! I had a perfectly fine pain management system before all this happened."

"It's either that or you go through painful withdrawal on your own."

"I can't be sedated. You are going to need my help on this case."

"It's only for 24 to 48 hours."

"Yes and when your patient's vital organs start shutting down and she dies before I wake up, you'll realize that you killed a patient for the wrong reason."

"That won't happen."

"Oh yes it will."

"Then I'll have to take my chances. Take time to think about it. I have a feeling you will see reason once the pain gets unbearable."

House just scowled as she left the office. He wasn't in the mood to deal with her right now. He had to find a way to score a fix.

-----------------------------

"This is wrong." Cameron said as they were performing the MRI.

"Cutting House off? Might not work but it's not wrong." Foreman certainly didn't have another solution.

Chase was too focused on the lung scan. He tried to tune out his colleagues. "Bone windows look clean."

"Because it's effective doesn't make it right."

"Cuddy's bending the rules to get a patient to do the right thing. We work for a doctor like that."

"And the ends justify the means?"

"Ends involve us keeping our jobs, sure. Lung parenchyma is clean. No masses. It's not lung cancer." Chase didn't want hear any talk about House.

"Is that all you care about, your job?" Cameron asked Chase.

"Other than my job, it's none of my business." He replied while still focusing on the image in front of him.

"It's because he hit you," Cameron blurted, offended by Chase's indifference and lack of loyalty.

All of a sudden there was trouble with Abigail. The three doctors rushed in right as she started vomiting blood. It may not be the lungs, but something was definitely wrong.

---------------------------

"What causes liver disease and a collapsed lung?"

Cameron, Foreman, Chase, Wilson all gathered with Cuddy in her office to discuss their new case. The endoscopy and the blood work confirmed that her liver was failing.

A myriad of possible conditions flew back and forth among all of them, but the discussion ended with Cameron and Wilson sniping at each other over autoimmune vs. cancer. Foreman though it was hepatitis and Chase believed drugs and alcohol were to blame. In the end, there were four doctors in the room all with dissenting opinions.

Wilson knew he wouldn't get approval for his actions, but Cameron was acting of line. She lived in much of the same denial as House. She would also throw everything away just so she could stand on principle. To her there was only ever black or white with any issue. There was never grey area. He had trouble understanding that way of thinking. He also never liked how she couldn't separate her personal feelings with her professional behavior. He thought she would have learned by now that mixing such emotions usually ended badly. He hated how House always let her get away with it.

"I'll do a liver biopsy to confirm," Foreman said.

"I'll search the patient's home for drugs or alcohol," Chase added.

As they turned to leave Cuddy stopped them. "Wait, we have another matter to discuss."

Cuddy looked at Wilson, who decided he would do the talking. "We are trying to convince House to do rapid detox."

"Why does he need to go through that? He just needs his vicodin." Cameron wasn't about to let them put her mentor through such torture. "We can't give into Tritter. What he is doing is wrong."

Foreman was skeptical for different reasons. "I agree something needs to be done so he doesn't go through painful detox again. Each time seems to get worse. House won't allow it though."

"You leave that part to us." Wilson replied. "You have done this sort of thing with other patients before right?"

"Yes. For opiate withdrawal he would go under light anesthesia for 24 to 48 hours in the ICU. He will need constant monitoring and medication for nausea and other symptoms." Foreman had done this enough for others, although he had to admit Chase had far more experience.

"That's where we were hoping all of you could help." Wilson pleaded. "He will need round the clock monitoring."

Chase, who sat away from the others in the opposite corner when Wilson started speaking, had yet to say a word. He decided he'd heard enough. He got up and headed toward the door.

"Where are you going?" An incredulous Cameron asked.

"I'm not doing this," he replied bitterly as he opened the door and left.

Everyone remaining in the office looked at each other not sure what to make of what just happened.

"I'll talk to him." Foreman volunteered.

"No, I'll do it." Wilson countered. "Okay we'll let you know if House goes for it. You will have to be available on a moments notice if he does."

Everyone took that as their cue to leave and go about their duties. No one had much confidence that the plan would work. This was House after all and if it wasn't on his terms, it likely would fail. Still, they had to try something.

**a/n: If you liked this, I'll go on. You got to let me know though! As a teaser, Chapter 2 has a great Chase and Wilson scene where they discuss the aspects of addiction. You don't get to see it if you aren't interested! **


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: Wow! The response has been overwhelming. I had no idea there were so many other dissenters out there. I hope my creative vision satifies. Anyway, I now present, part 2. **

"Breaking and entering. Sounds like the kind of thing you would be good at." House needed help and the perfect resource was standing right in front of him.

"I take it that's where Cuddy's been keeping your pills.' Foreman silently questioned whether Cuddy wouldn't realize that House would be this desperate. After all, junkies will do just about anything for a fix, even attempts at breaking into the boss' desk. He doubted House would find what he was looking for, but also recognized he would be distressed enough to try in his state.

The opportunity was too good to pass up. He had the liver test results right in his hand. It wouldn't hurt to try and get House to offer an opinion.

"One theory, one drawer."

Foreman rolled his eyes and then looked behind him to see if anyone was coming. There are very likely no pills in there, so what the hell. He will get something out of it.

"Really? I thought you would be all for this torture House plan. It works therefore its good. On the other hand, I don't want to talk you out of this deal by pointing out your hypocrisies so patient's life at stake, blah, blah, blah."

As House offered up his theory of the condition striking the pancreas next and then mushrooming into multiple system failure, Foreman wondered if it was indeed the drugs that triggered his brilliant patterned thinking or if physical pain caused the addiction to drugs and his mind was never affected. He believed it was likely the latter since House hasn't always been addicted but he has always been brilliant. Yet, like Cuddy and Wilson, he said nothing about the vicodin use. Probably because he didn't want to ruin all the good being done. Except now the bad is starting to outweigh the good.

Could they really get on without him? Could they be as successful if he was drug free? The last case proved that even House is capable of making a disastrous mistake. Was it really the pain? He has detoxed before and come through with the right diagnosis. What made him wrong that time? Chase just got lucky for once.

"I get why you don't want to go rehab, but only an idiot goes to prison for being stubborn."

"Only an idiot stands between Ahab and his whale."

House checked out the drawer and found that Cuddy did indeed remove her stash. "Sorry," Foreman said and walked out to order his pancreatic tests.

---------------------------------------------------

Chase put down his messenger bag full of samples and took off his blue jacket. The conference room was empty and dark which was fine by him. It gave him sometime to evaluate all the new information he was able to gather from his search and he didn't have to listen to Cameron talk about House.

He had three new possible symptoms to work with; ear infections, constipation, and joint pain. He sat down and stared at the other symptoms on the white board, trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle. Drugs and alcohol are out, so what could be causing liver failure and a collapsed lung? What could go wrong next?

He heard the sound of someone walking in behind him. He knew by the footsteps it was Wilson but wasn't going to acknowledge him first.

"It hurts less just to not care." Wilson said.

"I don't want any part of it."

"He needs help."

"Not mine." Chase continued to stare at the board while avoiding eye contact with Wilson.

"I know he hurt you, but addicts..."

Chase abruptly turned around and cut him off. "I know first hand what addicts are capable of. They aren't in control of their actions. They hurt those around them by pushing them away. They trick us into enabling by shielding them from the full consequences of their behaviors. We spend lifetimes apologizing for their deeds and defending the way they are. We do everything possible except actually helping them. I've been there once already I'm not going there again. He has others to fool. He doesn't need me."

Wilson just nodded. "This isn't like your mom Chase. House can be saved. You wouldn't be in this alone this time."

"No one here has a clue how to help him. He'll detox, get out of trouble, and then go back to what he always does. You can't fix him."

"I owe to him to try."

"Why? What has he ever done to help you?"

"I can't explain it, but someone has to watch out for him. He certainly can't do it himself."

"That's not good enough for me. He would never do the same for any of us. Yes, it hurts less just to not care. You can't help someone who won't help himself."

Wilson knew he wasn't going to get through. "I understand. You don't have to be involved if you don't want to. I hope you reconsider."

Chase took a deep breath as soon as Wilson left and then went back to the white board for the ideal distraction.

---------------------------

Wilson and Foreman just got back from the liver test. Abigail fell into a diabetic coma and her pancreas was failing now. Exactly like House had predicted. They were now dealing with a global systemic illness.

"What if we sacrifice the girl and House goes to jail anyway." Cameron angrily spouted at Cuddy.

"Then I'll feel bad." Cuddy was getting tired of her crap and wished Cameron would just focus on the case.

They all sat in Cuddy's office, deliberating the possible reasons why the liver and pancreas was shutting down. Everyone was feeling rather frantic and unfocused. Cuddy was trying her best to maintain control of the situation, but she felt completely out of control.

"Ideas!"

"Langerhans cell histiocytosis attacks multiple organ systems." Chase replied.

"Histicytosis usually starts in the brain then moves to other internal organs. Abigail's brain is fine. Cystic fibrosis." Foreman countered.

"Excocrine function is normal. Hodgkin's lymphoma. A systemic cancer in which her dwarfism predisposes her to." Wilson was adamant in his conclusions.

"Any ideas that are not cancer?" Cameron wasn't backing down from her theories.

"Cancer fits."

"Autoimmune fits better. We should treat her with prednisone for lupus."

"That will spike her blood sugar and put her back in a coma. It's much better to run a double stranded DNA test." Wilson wasn't backing down from his theories either.

"Not if she dies before we get the results."

Cuddy wasn't going to tolerate anymore of this behavior. "One of you is probably right. Why don't we hold the sniping until we find out which."

To everyone's shock, a haggard looking and profusely sweating House stood behind them as they frantically argued. They all stared at him silently rather stunned by his presence. House looked down and tapped his cane on the floor. "Okay, I'll take the rapid detox."

"I'll go set it up." Wilson said as he left the room.

"Cameron, go help him." Cuddy ordered. "Foreman, Chase, go run the antibody test for lupus. Wilson can get the LP for lymphoma after he's finished."

Cuddy and House were left alone. "You sure about this?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"I thought you would have been able to get your hands on some pills by now."

House glanced away rather ashamed. "I went to the ER at St. Sebastians. It seems they don't give opiates to new patients. It weeds out drug seekers."

Cuddy tilted her head, not at all surprised by his revelation. "If you had read the memo, you would have known that was our new policy too. All the hospitals in the area are doing that. It would have saved you some trouble."

"Cameron didn't tell me when she read it."

Cuddy smiled. "Okay, let's get you admitted."

-------------------------------------------

"I still say its Langerhans cell histiocytosis." Chase told Foreman as they were walking in the hall from Cuddy's office.

"Tumors for that usually show up in the skull." Foreman wasn't buying it.

"Not necessarily. In some cases the tumors show up elsewhere. It makes the most sense. That way it can be both autoimmune and cancer."

"You just don't want to piss off either Wilson or Cameron. Cuddy didn't think it was that either."

"They have other things on their mind right now."

"Speaking of which, why don't you want to help House? Still mad that he punched you? I still think that if Wilson hadn't beat you to it you would have ratted."

"I just can't win here, can I?" Chase showed his deep frustration by throwing his hands up in the air. He didn't know what he had to do to get his co-workers to give him a break. "What about your hypocrisy? You tell House to take the deal and then blast Wilson for ratting him out. Why can't I just be a doctor who wants to do his job?"

"You think what Wilson did was right?"

"None of my business."

"Since when? You have always been first with hospital gossip."

"I don't really care anymore."

"House could fire you when he's better because of your lack of loyalty."

"House doesn't give a damn what I or anyone else does."

"Maybe his new outlook will change him."

"Yeah, right." Chase didn't believe change was in the House vocabulary.

-------------------

It took a few hours for House to be admitted and for everything to be setup, but they were ready. They found a private area of the ICU for him to be sedated. Cuddy was there to observe as primary attending while Foreman and Cameron starting administering the treatment.

"We're all set, you should be out in a minute." Foreman told House.

"Where's Chase? Detox is his area of expertise."

Foreman and Cameron shared a telling glance. "He's busy with Abigail right now." Cameron replied.

"Right." House knew exactly what that meant. "I don't blame him." He turned toward Cameron, who was sitting next to him by the bed. "Autoimmune makes more sense. The ear infections and joint pain. Have you considered Still's disease?"

"She doesn't have a rash and the spleen is fine."

He nodded. "Don't give in. You are on the right track." His eyelids began to flutter and within a few seconds he was out.

"I'll take the first watch," Cameron volunteered.

"Good, I need to get back and help Chase with Abigail." Foreman patted her on the arm for luck and left.

"Let me know if anything changes." Cuddy instructed.

-----------------------------------

Wilson was getting tired of taking these beatings. Now he was getting it from Abigail's mother. She had a right to be this way, but all he really wanted to do was just treat the patient. All the controversy was wearing him thin.

"You have no idea what is wrong with my daughter."

"We have several theories."

"What does Dr. House think?"

"He's…He had to go home sick."

"My daughter may be dying and he's gone home with the sniffles? He was the only one that seemed to have an idea what was wrong with her. He better be really damn sick.

"He is." Wilson got the consent and went to perform the LP. He so wanted to give this woman answers, but he had none. As of right now, she was the only one that mattered about getting the right answer.

----------------------------------

Chase and Foreman entered the ICU to consult with Cameron.

"How is he?" Foreman asked.

"In pain, but much better than before he went under." Cameron bitterly replied. She hated seeing him go through this, but it was out of her hands. All she could do was be there to help. She didn't feel like she was helping much though.

"Negative for lymphoma and lupus." Foreman handed her the test results.

"Yeah, I figured that. The kidneys are fine which rules out lupus, and she isn't losing any weight or has night sweats which rules our lymphoma."

Foreman had the same suspicions. "I'm with you on autoimmune. What is it though?"

"An autoimmune condition that can cause rapid multiple organ failure? I can't think of any that will do that." Chase answered.

"So what do you think it could be?" Cameron snipped harshly. She was obviously showing her deep resentment toward Chase for not helping House.

"I already told you my theory. Apparently it doesn't fit." Chase answered her calmly with a slight edge of bitterness. He learned long ago to tolerate Cameron's personal slants during diagnosis.

Cameron knew they had to try something. "We should start her on prednisone. That would cover a variety of autoimmune deficiencies."

"Wilson's right though, that could raise her blood sugar." Foreman countered.

"We are out of choices. We can carefully monitor it. There is nothing else." Cameron knew risk was the only option now.

"We'll talk to Cuddy." Foreman relented. He and Chase went to make their case.

Cameron went back to staring at House with complete worry.

---------------------------------------

Even under sedation, House looked a complete mess. He was shivering and sweating. He was stable though, so that was a good sign.

"This is better than detoxing on his own." Wilson said standing behind her.

"He shouldn't have to do this." Cameron told Wilson angrily.

"We had no choice."

Cameron turned around to face him. "You had every choice! You can't make someone go through this against his will. He was fine before. It seems to me you got the better end of the deal."

"Right, I'm all about turning in my best friend to the cops to save myself. I was willing to go to jail and give up my career for him."

"So why didn't you?"

Wilson opened his mouth then paused before continuing. He wasn't sure why he had to explain himself to Cameron, but he tried anyway. "I didn't want this for him, but in the end given the circumstances I did what was best. I tried to keep him out of jail and get him the help he needs. What more did you expect?"

"I expect you to be loyal to your friend."

Wilson had enough and responded with a raised voice. "What do you know about friendship and loyalty? I have known him and been through way more than with him than you could possibly imagine. I had never seen him this bad. Sometimes you have to make the tough choices so that someone you care about doesn't destroy himself, even if that means alienating that person. Silly me, I thought no jail and not losing his medical license was a pretty fair deal. Also, I shouldn't have to defend my actions to anyone but House, and I can't to do that until he is thinking rationally again."

Cameron folded her arms, looked away, and silently pouted at that answer. She didn't have a clever response. He could be right, but his actions still felt wrong.

"Okay then. Call me if you need me." Wilson said as he headed out.

**a/n: I looked up Still's disease on the Internet. Impossible it would be that. They consider that and not histiocytoisis? Wrong, wrong, wrong. Wikipedia could have called that play. **

**Anyway, if there is anything here that seems off or not of value, please let me know. Of course, tell me if you like it too! **

**Also, before I get any comments, Wilson knows about Chase's mother for two reasons. He treated his father, and House tells him everything. Chase knows Wilson knows, otherwise he might have been freaked out by that comment. That's my premise and I'm sticking to it!**


	3. Chapter 3

"The patient responding to the prednisone?" Wilson was waiting for Cuddy in her office. Despite his differences of opinion with Cameron, he hoped Abigail was responding well. He only wanted to see the patient healed.

"Yes, she is doing much better."

"No elevated blood sugar levels?"

"None so far."

"So Cameron was right."

"No, Cameron did what House taught them all to do. Sometimes you just have to take a wild stab in the dark without knowing specifically what is going on. If it doesn't work, try something else." Cuddy didn't always understand the method to House's madness, but she was pleased to see after all this time it was rubbing off on his team. He has a least been a decent mentor.

"That's what makes House reckless."

"That's also what makes House successful. He isn't afraid to take risks and I'm glad to see his team is getting that. He has really trained them well. Look at Chase with the last patient. Or are you like everyone else who thinks it was a fluke?"

"No, I don't." Wilson took a deep breath, still reeling from this entire situation. "You think he will learn from rehab?"

"I don't know. There is always the possibility he will come out of rapid detox and back out of the deal. The pain will still be there, but the question is, does he see reason or go to jail?"

"I wonder if we should have just cut him off and let him suffer."

Cuddy shook her head. "He's too stubborn for anything we try to work. He prefers his way. He might go back to his old ways once he's out of this mess, but at least rapid detox was more humane. Maybe he will think better of us for doing that for him."

"House doesn't applaud loyalty. That is a risky hope."

"It's all I've got."

------------------------------

"Dr. Cameron, come quick! Something is wrong with Abigail."

Cameron rushed in to see her alarmed patient bleeding from the mouth. _Damn._ She thought. They were wrong again.

--------------------------

Cuddy and Cameron raced into the ICU. Foreman was there tending to a still struggling House. He could tell something is wrong.

"The prednisone isn't working anymore. Her liver is still failing." Cameron told him.

"We need to wake up House now. We have no more time." Cuddy added.

Foreman nodded and fetched to solution to inject in the IV. "Are you sure about this? His pain will be terrible. You don't have any other theories?"

"No. We can put him back under if the pain is still too bad."

"That won't be good for him. He's already in pain and waking him up will make the pain worse when he goes back under."

"Wake him up." Cuddy commanded.

Foreman injected the drug and House's eyelids slowly started fluttering as he winced and groaned in pain.

"House, we have a situation." Cuddy told him.

Even through the intense pain and grogginess from sedation he knew exactly what was going on. He spoke with a gruff and weary voice. "Your patient is almost dead and I need to come to the rescue. Well tough, the pain is unbearable. I can't think straight."

"Foreman, go get a light dose of gabapentin now."

"That won't help much. He's not fully detoxed from the opiates yet." Foreman replied.

"That's why he is getting a light dose."

"Foreman's right, that won't do me much good." House responded.

"House, we gave her prednisone. She got better and now her organs are failing again."

"I'm in pain here."

"Fine, we'll put you back under after we are done."

"That won't help. I'm feeling pain worse now and it won't go away when I go under."

"I don't give you anything if you don't help." Cuddy threatened

"No deal."

Cuddy motioned Cameron and Foreman into the hallway outside the room. "Let me talk to him." Cameron told them. "He seems to be a little more responsive when not being threatened."

Cuddy nodded. "I'll get the gabapentin." Foreman told them.

House knew exactly what was going on when he saw Cameron coming. "I see she sent over the nice person who is going to talk reason into me."

"Some pain relief is better than nothing. We can give you something for the nausea too. If it's not cancer or autoimmune, what is it?"

"If you could only give me…"

"I'm not allowed to give you anything. She isn't going to back down House."

Cameron was right, Cuddy wasn't going to back down. _Damn, why do I always have trouble saying no to Cameron._ "You don't have any theories?"

"None of them fit. I say autoimmune but the prednisone isn't working. Wilson says cancer but all tests come up negative. Chase suggested Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis and Foreman…"

"Wait, why did you dismiss histiocytosis?"

"The brain is fine."

"It doesn't always present in the brain. Have you checked the pituitary gland?"

"No, there were no symptoms to indicate problems with that."

"Have Chase do a CT scan the pituitary gland. If something is hiding, it is there."

Cameron was stunned. She wasn't sure how they missed that. "Okay, we'll do the scan. I'll ask Cuddy to get you something for the pain now. We are here for you."

"Yeah, yeah."

Cameron went out in the hall to Cuddy. "He likes the Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis theory. He wants Chase to do a CT scan the pitituary gland."

"I'm on it. Tell Foreman to give him the meds when he gets back."

----------------------

Chase walked into the diagnosis conference room where Cuddy, Wilson, and Foreman were waiting.

"You're not going to believe this." Chase put the results up on the light board.

The other's eyes bugged out of their head over what they saw.

"A granuloma?" Cuddy was amazed.

"That would confirm histiocytosis." Foreman replied.

"If that's pressing against her pitituary gland, then that is affecting the growth hormone." Cuddy said.

"Yes, I thought of that, so I also got this." Chase put up an xray of her leg.

"It looks normal." Cuddy observed.

"That's the problem, it's not supposed to be. She's a dwarf."

"So you're suggesting she is not a dwarf?"

"It seems to be that way."

"So that's how it all started." Cuddy was certainly both impressed and shocked by the rare presentation of this condition.

"I've started her on a different set of corticosteroids for the organ failure." Chase said.

"She will have to have surgery to remove the granuloma. She also might need radiation therapy, and chemotherapy." Wilson realized he just got a new long-term patient.

"Not to mention she will always be susceptible to skin lesions, losing hearing, teeth, stature, cognitive ability, pulmonary function, and possibly her life." Chase didn't want to sugar coat the nature of the disease. The others looked down solemnly knowing he was right.

"She should be taking a synthetic hormone." A familiar voice said coming in through the doorway.

"House, you should be in bed." Cuddy told him. He still looked pale, weak, flushed and was sweating badly. He was also shaking. Cameron was directly behind him, watching to make sure he didn't collapse.

"No more. I've gotten the most out of your rapid detox I can. The gabapentin is barely making a dent by the way."

"You aren't free from the opiates yet." Cuddy knew she was stating the obvious, but he had to hear it anyway.

House was feeling enough rage welling up inside to jump straight into a rant. "You all are pathetic. You need a note taker so you can go back and see all you suggested during your rapid fire ego building sessions. You need to carefully consider each option before dismissing it. Cameron said histiocytosis was suggested early yesterday."

"There were no neurological issues." Foreman said.

"Check all the varying cases of your diseases before dismissing them. There are always anomalies. Foreman, you need to think out of the box. Chase, you need to take your theories farther and actually prove them instead of listening to these incompetents. Get off your lazy ass and go the extra mile."

Chase and Foreman looked down like school children getting scolded.

He turned to Cuddy and Wilson. "You actually want me to go to rehab for two months when you couldn't function without me for one day? Am I the only proficient doctor in this hospital? You all are going to have to learn what it is like work without me." He started leaving the room.

"Where are you going?" Cuddy asked.

"Elsewhere."

-----------------

House walked past the nurse's station outside of Wilson's office. He noticed the stack of the patient files waiting for him. The color of the top chart caught his eye and he opened it. It revealed the patient had only died a half hour ago. He knew that the morgue wouldn't have him yet.

Room 503 He looked from room to room until he saw from the outside that the body was still in bed. The widow was sitting in the room. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm Dr. House. I work with Dr. Wilson. I'm sorry for your loss." House walked over to the patient and saw the pills sitting on the side table. "Did he suffer much?" He asked the widow as he turned around blocking the view of the pills. He grabbed them from behind and slipped them into his pocket while she was talking and not looking.

"Yes, quite a bit. It's a relief now. Will Dr. Wilson be around soon?"

With pills in his possession, House answered while heading out the door. "Very soon. Again, I'm sorry."

"Thank you Dr. House."

-------------------

"Abigail doesn't want to take the growth hormone." Chase announced to Cameron and Foreman in the conference room.

"Why not?" Cameron asked.

"She's afraid of growing. She wants to be like her mother."

"Strange how people cling onto particular versions of themselves." House said entering the room. Cameron, Chase and Foreman looked at him strangely. He seemed different. He wasn't in pain and in a good mood. That was not the sign of someone who was detoxing. "So little girl likes being a freak. Can't say I blame her."

"House, did Cuddy give you any meds?" A very confused Cameron asked.

"Nope."

"So, everything is just all of a sudden better?" Foreman asked. He looked at Cameron with deep concern. Chase looked down and chose to stay out of it.

"Our patient just needs to see reason. I'll go talk to her."

"Wait, House…" Cameron's efforts were futile as he left anyway.

"I'll call Cuddy." Foreman said and opened his phone.

----------------------

Abigail's mother didn't know what to think. Here was this supposedly brilliant doctor who was able to figure out what was wrong with her daughter and he was acting very strange. The little act of him demonstrating growth after taking the pill was just way too much. Something was wrong with him. She took him out into the hall.

"Dr. House, are you high?"

"Higher than you."

"House, a word please." Cuddy stood behind just in time to hear the exchange.

"Sorry, busy now. Doing the whole saving lives thing." He turned back to the patient's mother. "You don't have to make your daughter's life difficult so she can become stronger and overcome adversity. You and I have found out that being normal sucks. 'Cause we're freaks. The advantage of being a freak is it makes you stronger. Now, how strong do you really want her to have to be? You told her what you had to tell her. Now you tell her you lied. Even if you didn't."

The mother gazed at him confused. He may not be acting right, but he was making sense.

Cuddy turned to the mother. "I'm sorry about Dr. House's behavior. Dr. Wilson will be in soon to brief you on all the risks of Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis."

"Dr. House said that surgery, chemotherapy, and growth hormone would do the trick."

"It's a little more complicated than that. Dr. Wilson will explain everything."

The mother nodded and went back to her daughter's room still staring at them with her confused glance.

Cuddy had enough. "How dare you mislead a patients and her mother like that? This is a long-term high maintenance disease. A growth pill is going to make it all better?"

"She'll be fine. It will all work itself out once everything is working normally."

"We have no way of knowing that for sure. They need to know all the facts." She grabbed her forehead with her right hand. She only had one option now. "House, your privileges are hereby suspended until further notice. You are not allowed in this hospital again until you are drug free. If you are spotted I will call security and have you thrown out. Now go accept Tritter's deal then go to rehab. If you don't, you no longer have a job here."

She stormed off leaving House speechless. He never thought she would be capable of that. Oh well, he had his pills. Time to go home and celebrate Christmas.

**a/n: I read some forums where people who actually had loved ones with ****Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis appreciated the mention on House but thought it was a little misleading that Abigail would get her treatment and be cured. They said there was usually a lot more to it than that. So, I put that in there for them. Thanks for following this! One more chapter to go.**


	4. Chapter 4

"House, wait up." Wilson heard what had happened and wanted to catch him before he went home.

House in predictable fashion ignored him and kept on going.

"Come on House, you don't want to be alone on Christmas Eve. Not with all you are going through."

"Being alone on Christmas was your choice not mine. I'll be just fine."

"Cuddy told me what happened. Did you never think that your job was on the line here?"

"I've been fired before."

"You have never been fired for doing your job while stoned before. This is serious House. If you don't fix this you will lose everything." Wilson wasn't sure if he was saying these things for his benefit or House's, but the words came out the same anyway. He was getting so tired of stating the obvious, but what else could he do?

"Cuddy just needs a little time to settle down. She'll get over this."

"You are out of chances. You will never be able to work anywhere again if you have no medical license. You are nothing if you can't be a doctor."

"Then I'll have to find something else." House limped quickly away leaving Wilson to worry about what was going to happen next.

----------------------

Cameron, Foreman, and Chase entered Cuddy's office. "You wanted to see us?" Foreman asked on everyone's behalf.

"Come on in. Close the door." She let them enter and take their places before starting to speak. "I wanted to catch you all before you left for the holiday. I just suspended House indefinitely. If he doesn't clean up, he no longer has a job here. I wanted to let you three know that if House does get fired, I will do everything to make sure each one of you find other positions in this hospital. Until that is decided, I will be primary attending for your department. Any questions?"

Cameron for one didn't take the announcement very well. "That's it? You are just going to let him go? He saves too many lives."

Cuddy took a breath before answering, but remained firm. "He has to save himself now. If he can't do that, he won't be able to help others. Now, I also wanted to thank you all for your good work with Abigail. Despite all that has happened, try to enjoy your holiday."

"Thanks Dr. Cuddy," they said in broken order before heading toward the door.

"Chase, do you have a minute?" Cuddy asked. Foreman and Cameron shared a quick glance wondering what she would want with Chase before they headed out.

Cuddy waited until the others were gone. "Twice in a row now you were right. Please don't second guess yourself anymore. I for one don't believe it's a fluke. Well done."

Chase stood positively speechless by her words of validation. This was a first in his three years at the hospital. "Thanks and Happy Hanukah, Dr. Cuddy."

"Merry Christmas Chase."

Chase slightly smiled and then left the office thinking he had just gotten one of the most memorable Christmas presents he ever had.

-----------------------------------

The only indication House had that it was Christmas was that the calendar said December 24th. Nothing about this situation felt like Christmas. It felt like every other miserable day in pain. The oxycodone was a far more powerful medication that the vicodin, but it didn't have the calming effect that the vicodin provided. The more he took, the more jittery he was. Swallowing the entire bottle was his only recourse. The pain had to go away.

Oxycodone presented another big complication though. When the pain was really bad whiskey combined with the vicodin would perfectly take the edge off. As a doctor he knew what would likely happen if he poured himself a whiskey to go with his new unchosen drug. The risks of overdose and death were far greater. Still he found himself with a glass and the whiskey bottle on the table.

He poured himself a drink and contemplated how far he was willing to go to dull the pain. Maybe the best cure for pain was death. The vicodin made him a better doctor and that was now taken away, but if he didn't accept the deal his career was over. If he wasn't a doctor, he was nothing. Still, taking the deal meant he would lose his vice. Was life worth living if he couldn't have the two things made up his livelihood? Compromise was something he never did well. Death might be the only option left.

House wasn't sure why he called his mother. He knew that she wasn't there. They never were on Christmas Eve. He presumed that if he did decide to play Russian roulette with pills and alcohol, he didn't want her to feel guilty if he died without calling first. Maybe it would be comfort to her that she was the last person on his mind.

The bottom line was at this point, House really didn't care if he lived or died. He didn't have a death wish, but he wasn't hoping for life either. He remembered Wilson telling him once that his pain defined him. He denied it at the time, but maybe in a way he was right. What Wilson didn't get though was there was a fine line between psychological pain and physical pain. The physical pain was real and always would be. He believed Wilson was either talking about the psychological pain or he didn't think there was a difference between the two. The vicodin relieved both of those pains and both were very real. Having to face both of them at the same moment was just too much for one man to bear.

House opened the bottle and poured the remaining pills into his hand. He took one last moment to consider what he was about to do. He had nothing left to lose. He would let nature or his own body determine whether he lived or died. He threw the pills into his mouth and swallowed. He was surprised to feel a slight burning. Considering all the dry popping he did, he figured nothing would bother his esophagus anymore. He grabbed the whiskey glass and drank all the contents like it was the water that normally accompanied so many pills going down.

Any decision to his fate should come pretty quick. His coherence faded in and out when he heard the phone ring. It would either be the hospital or Wilson and he wasn't about to speak to either. The urgent pleading on the answering machine confirmed it to be the latter. House was too numb by his act to respond to the call. He was too numb actually to do much thinking or contemplating of anything. He had no flashes of his life gone by, no thoughts of accomplishments, no consideration of patients or people that crossed his path. He felt nothing. He smiled when he came to that realization. The pain had finally gone away.

He felt his lucidity slip away in an instant. His mind was in a complete fog as he stood up and tried to make his way to the other room. He didn't know where he was going or what he was trying to do, but his brain told him to move. He didn't get farther than the edge of the couch before his legs buckled underneath and he took a lamp down with him.

Maybe a part of him wanted to live after all as he rolled over on his side in case he passed out. If he got sick he didn't want to die choking on his own puke. That wasn't a dignified way to go. Not that there was much dignity in an overdose of oxycodone and alcohol either. No, there wasn't any dignity left in this situation at all.

----------------------------------

House wouldn't answer his phone. Wilson knew that House often ignored phone calls of those that he didn't want to talk to, but after their conversation at the hospital he had a bad feeling about this evening. It was the sixth sense that develops between long time friends, no matter what the circumstances. House was getting ready to crash and he knew it.

Wilson wasn't sure what he would find as he used his key to open the door, but he didn't think it would be good. Sure enough, as he entered the apartment and looked beyond the couch, House was collapsed on the floor.

Wilson rushed over in a deep panic. He hoped he wasn't too late. As he rolled his incoherent friend over, he was at first relieved that he wouldn't see the worst case scenario. Sadly, the actual situation proved to be just as bad. Sure, House wasn't dead, but he had vomited a good amount of pills. Wilson knew that by expelling the contents of his stomach House would be okay, but how did he get his hands on so many pills?

The answer lied next to a conscious but completely intoxicated House. The empty bottle told him everything he needed to know. Oxycodone, prescribed to a now late Mr. Zebaulsky.

Wilson felt the rage explode inside of him. If Tritter found out about this, House would ruin the deal. That wasn't the part that upset him though. The half empty whiskey bottle confirmed it. Taking that many pills and whiskey meant that House no longer cared if he lived or died. At this particular moment, Wilson didn't care either. In disgust he threw the bottle down and left House alone in his misery. He no longer wanted any part of it.

--------------------------

How did he reach this point? How did his life deteriorate this badly where here he was at 2 am on Christmas morning standing outside of the office of a man that was every bit as deranged as he was? Mentally, physically, emotionally, House was feeling like crap. Pain was hitting him at all angles and he couldn't take it anymore. There were only two ways out, and one of those ways already failed this evening. The deal was all he had left.

House knew Tritter's type. Carrying out justice was not just a job it was an obsession. House could actually relate to that stubborn mentality as he was the same way with his medical puzzles. Still, there was something about Tritter's abusive behavior that couldn't be justified. He hated having to cave in like this, but it was only at rock bottom that he could admit defeat. "Only an idiot would go to jail on principle." Foreman told him. No, only an addict would. He didn't want to be an addict anymore.

He walked into that office a broken man. Slowly limping, head hung low, and wearing the gaunt face of a troubled person he approached the desk. He knew Tritter would look at him in this vulnerable state with a smug expression but he was finally ready to take responsibility for his actions.

"I'll take the deal."

Tritter looked at him feeling rather self-righteous, yet he didn't show the part of himself that was very surprised that House actually cracked. "You like putting off things to the last minute I see."

"Spare the lecture. I'm headed for rehab next. What do I need to do?"

"I'll tell the DA." Tritter replied.

"Pardon me if I don't trust you, but call him now."

"It's Christmas, I'll tell him you met the time frame."

"Now." House said sternly.

Tritter nodded and picked up the phone. "He accepts the deal…Yes…I'll let him know…Merry Christmas to you too."

"Okay, we're all set." Tritter declared.

"That's it?"

"Yep. We'll get back with you at the rehab facility with all the paperwork after the holiday."

House nodded. His instincts told him that it was now best to leave. He couldn't though. After all they had been through Tritter had earned some words of scolding. "You're no better than me. You may have gotten what you wanted, but this is no victory. You have shattered a lot of lives."

"You don't need drugs to make a positive impact in people's lives. It is your addiction that is shattering the lives of those around you."

"That's nothing you need to be concerned with."

Tritter wouldn't back down. "It becomes my business when you break laws. You're right, I don't care what you have done to Dr. Wilson, Dr. Cuddy, or your staff. I don't care what I do to them either. The bottom line is you are abusing drugs, and I'm supposed to go after people like you. If those in the middle get hurt, well they are simple casualties of war. Doesn't that sound familiar? How many patients and their families have you hurt in your pursuit of the truth?"

House had no good answer for that. He threw one last weary gaze at Tritter before turning toward the door. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob. "This deal, it means you are going away, right?"

"Yep."

"Good." House opened the door and started his journey to rehab.

-----------------------

_At this point, there is where I visualize the touching montage showing what each of the cast members are doing to the backdrop of some inspirational Christmas music. This is one of those moments where only TV can do it justice. I can't write these montages with the same inspiration. Try to visualize each shot and pick a song you think that will work with this. I'm thinking Clay Aiken's version of O' Holy Night, but that's just me. _

Scene starts with a shot of Foreman enjoying a quiet evening next to the Christmas tree with his girlfriend. Fade to Cameron who is sitting at home with a glass of wine sadly worrying, thoughts of House and his struggles dominating her mind. Fade to Chase who is sitting in Christmas mass saying a solemn prayer with the rest of the congregation to the glow of candlelight surrounding him. Fade to Cuddy who checks in on Abigail at the hospital while she is sleeping. Cuddy is wearing a faded smile, her eyes showing worry and distress. Fade to Wilson who is sitting alone in his hotel room, drinking scotch heavily trying hard to forget everything that has happened. Last scene is House at the desk getting signed in at rehab and then being led to his room. Final shot is a broken, aching, and very grim House alone in the center of the sterile room. _O night, oh holy night, oh night devine._

**a/n: Thanks Merlin71 for the final scene idea. Thank you everybody for indulging me with my protest fic here. It may not be better, but it offers a different option. One that has more Chase, so I'm happy.**

**Anyway, thank you for the wonderful reviews. The response has been fantastic. I thought I might throw a few explanations down based on some of the comments I got. **

**One of the main goals was for someone to finally acknowledge that Chase was right and he was on the right track. I get so frustrated when the writers have him be the one that comes up with the idea and then backs off without fighting for it (except in Finding Judas, but according to MLC that was just a fluke). That has happened too many times. Enough already.**

**Rapid detox was just a plot device to eliminate some scenes I hated like the cutting scene and Cuddy coming begging to House with Vicodin. The main casualty was the scene with the little girl in the cafeteria, which I actually liked, but there was no room in this plot for that. My approach with the detox was just meant to show a different slant so I could move my alternate plot along.**

**Someone pointed out the purpose of Cuddy and Wilson cutting House off was to make House suffer so that he would give in. My alternate point in this fic was that House is stubborn and if they left detox to him he would end up hurting himself, others (a la punching Chase), or would find a way to score drugs anyway (which he did). I ended up concluding that no matter what their motives House was going to do what he wanted, and I did agree with the show that he needed to hit rock bottom to finally see reason. That was the only thing I agreed with, but it was something.**

**Hopefully Cuddy was a less weak character in this version. Wilson too. He shouldn't have to put up with crap from Cameron.**

**Tritter goes away. Need I say more. **

**Chapter 3 was not the strongest chapter, but I felt the need to correct somewhere the inaccuracies and glossing over of the ramifications of the diseases. This show does that too often. The sad part is, I'm not a doctor nor do I work in health care. I just used the internet. **

**Thanks everybody for reading and Happy Holidays! **


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